


When I See You Again

by Hidden_Joy



Category: Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare, Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Characters After Alec Are Only Mentioned, Did I Mention Angst?, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Immortal Besties, Immortality, M/M, Multi, Oh, Probably the Most Angsty Thing I've Ever Written, SO, So much angst, Sort of a Happy Ending?, Spoilers, but also sad, headcanons, prepare tissues, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 05:41:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6740800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hidden_Joy/pseuds/Hidden_Joy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twenty years after Alec died and Magnus can't believe he hasn't thought of this before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When I See You Again

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for the Infernal Devices series so if you haven't read it, read at your own risk.

_**April 13th, 2076** _

Magnus Bane sat in a small Downworder cafè in Paris, France. He'd moved here three years ago and found this place immediately. His fingers tapped nervously against the table for two he sat at, the chair across from him empty. For now.

Doubts circled his mind as well as fear. What if this didn't work? What if she'd lost her power? What if the ring he clutched in his hand had lost all possession of the man who once owned it?

His grip tightened on the ring as he remembered opening the final letter - well, the final letter he felt he would open in a long time - a few days ago. Which was what had caused him to call this meeting.

\----------

_At one time April 10th had been a regular day to Magnus, one that brought him neither great happiness, nor great sadness. Twenty years ago that had changed when Alec died._

_Every year, on this day, Magnus would reread the first letter that he had ever opened of the letters Alec had written him before he died for Magnus to read after._ When You Miss Me So Much You Can Hardly Breathe.

_He could practically state that letter by memory now, he'd read it so many times._

_But, still, he pulled it out and read the very familiar handwritting across the the page that told him of Alec's love and devotion and how Alec wanted him to be happy, no matter what._

_Magnus wasn't sure he ever would be truly happy again, but he still tried. For Alec._

_Magnus folded the letter again, placing it into its worn evelope and carefully tucking it away with the rest of the letters._

_Out of curiousity, he pulled out the two letters he hadn't read yet._ When You Fall in Love Again ( _Magnus hadn't yet and he doubted he would for a long, long time. He had almost given up on love for him until Alec.), and_ When You Can't Remember Exactly What Shade of Blue My Eyes Were. 

_Magnus' breath caught in his throat as he read the title. It was the first time he really thought of it. Now that he was, he realized he couldn't remember exactly what Alec looked like. What beautiful shade of blue his eyes had been. The way his voice sounded. The feel of his skin. Magnus felt a lump form in his throat. He tore open the envelope._

  _Magnus pulled out a folded letter and glanced in the envelope to find photos in there, too. Alec had left pictures in a few of his other letters. He'd look at those after he read it._

My Dearest Magnus,

I'm sorry the writing in this letter is a bit smudged, my hand is shaking while I write this. I'm getting weaker, sadly, and I know only have days more.

You know of the mundane disease that is taking my life and it saddens me a great amount to know that even though we still got over fourty years together, that I'll be taken away before we can reach all the years we could have. Sixty-seven is far too young to die, you say.

Though I wish to write you hundreds more letters for when I am gone, this, the ninety-fifth letter I am writing, will be my last. And I hope that you won't read this one for quite a while.

You used to describe my eyes as a brilliant blue, the color of the head of a peacock. Though I never considered my eyes that beautiful, I always loved hearing it.

You've always been good at that. Saying things I might never believe but will always make me feel good. You loved me with everything you had and I loved you that much in return.

Magnus, I know you must feel guilty for forgetting little details of me, but don't. It's impossible to remember every detail, even of those you love. You have the pictures of you desperatley wish to remember.

As long as you don't forget me. As long as you don't forget what I was like, how I made you feel and how much I loved you, I don't care what else you forget. You could think my eyes were green as long as you don't forget who I was.

 I love you, Magnus. I may not have loved as long as I've known you, but I loved you to the day I died. I loved you with every beat of my heart and with my last breath, whenever that was. I love you, Magnus Bane. Never forget that. 

Forever Yours,

Alexander Lightwood

  _Tears spilled over Magnus' eyes and onto the paper, his breathes coming out short._

_"Oh, Alexander," he whispered. He placed the paper down gently, grabbing the envelope and pulling out the four pictures._

_The first was of their first trip together. Or well, trips, he should say. They had gone to many different countries together after officially making their relationship known. It was them in front of the Eiffel Tower, Magnus kissing Alec's cheek. He was so young then. He was so young when he died._

_The next two pictures were when Alec was in his thirties. His dark hair was longer, grays not yet in sight. His features were more defined and his eyes held a wisdom to it._

_And the final picture was the last one taken before he died._

_Magnus and him were curled in their bed, Magnus hugging his side, his head buried into his neck. Alec was laughing, his eyes bright and wide. He had a few wrinkles on his face and his dark hair was strung with grays._

_A few more tears splattered onto this last picture._

_Oh, what he would do for one more conversation with Alec. One more minute with him. That's when the idea hit him. He tossed down the photos and went for his phone. How hadn't he thought of this before?_

\----------

Magnus lifted his head as the bell rang, indicating someone had entered the cafè.

A small smile graced his face as he watched the brown haired girl walk into the cafè. He'd known her for nearly two centuries and how much she had changed in that time.

"Tessa!" he greeted, waving her over. The girl's gray eyes landed on Magnus and she walked over, placing herself in the seat across from him.

"Hello, Magnus," Tessa spoke, returning his small smile. He slid one of the coffees he'd ordered over to her. "Thank you," she told him, lifting the drink to her lips. She wore clothes that were too big on her, as he'd requested she do.

"You're welcome," he answered. They made small talk for a few minutes before he finally spoke.

"Do you think you can do it?" 

Tessa sighed, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear and looking at Magnus. "I might. But, you know, Magnus, I'm not sure this is best. It'll just make you miss him more. You c-"

"If you could talk to Will again, if someone could do this for you and you could talk to him one last time, wouldn't you?" Magnus interrupted. Tessa fell silent. "And what about Jem? He's mortal, too. If you lost him - when you lose him, wouldn't you want someone to do this?" Magnus' voice was soft, pleading. 

Tessa sighed, closing her eyes momentarily. "Yes," she answered softly, then held out her hand.

Magnus breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you," he told her, placing the gold wedding band he'd had held in his hand into hers.

She paused before closing her hand around it. "I'm sorry if this doesn't work, or doesn't last long, Magnus. I haven't Changed in almost two centuries," Tessa told him, looking at him with sympathy.

Magnus paused, swallowing before nodding slowly. Tessa took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and closed her fingers around it.

It took a full minute, the most agonizing sixty seconds of Magnus' life, before he saw her start to Change.

Tessa grew taller in her seat, her brown hair darkened to black and streaked with grays and shortened to just above her ears, a mess on her head. Her shoulders broadened and her features became sharper and older, turning that of a sixty-seven year old man. Magnus' breath hitched. She wasn't Tessa Gray anymore. She was Alec Lightwood.

Magnus' hands shook as Alec opened his eyes, showing the brilliant blue color behind them. A warm smile lightened his face as he saw Magnus.

"Alec," Magnus breathed, amazement crossing his features.

"Magnus," he answered. His voice was deep and smooth, soft and caring. Memories flowed through Magnus' mind and he took a shaky breath. Though Magnus knew it was Tessa underneath, he still reached out, gripping Alec's hand. He felt Alec's hand squeeze his. Alec's hands were rough and worn, skilled and callused. 

"I miss you so much, Alexander," Magnus whispered. "I opened the last letter you wrote, the one you wrote in case I forgot details of you," Alec nodded as Magnus spoke, his gaze filled with love. "It just made me miss you so much more, Alec. I love you. And I'll never forget you. There was only one letter left and I'm not sure I'll open it for a long, long time. I just had to see you one more time," Magnus explained, a few tears slipped from his eyes.

Alec nodded in understanding, squeezing Magnus' hand again. "I love you, too, Magnus. Please try to be happy," Alec whispered, looking at him pleadingly. Magnus opened his mouth to say something in return, but the Change was fading. Magnus pulled his hand back, feeling more tears slid down his cheeks as Alec turned back into Tessa. 

Tessa's hand released the grip it had on the wedding ring and she lifted her eyes to Magnus. "I'm so sorry, Magnus," she whispered.

Magnus nodded slowly, taking the ring back and wipping the tears from his eyes. "Thank you, Tessa, really. I have to go, though," he told her, getting to his feet.

"Hey, wait," she gripped his arm as he moved to go. "I'm always here for you, Magnus," she told him honestly. Magnus nodded, then pulled his arm carefully away, exiting the cafè.

Magnus took a deep breath of the fresh air, shaking slightly. Tessa was right. He shouldn't have done it. All the memories of Alec were coming to the forefront of his mind. From the day they met to the day Alec died.

Magnus crossed the street on shaky legs, his eyes wandering, trying to focus on something else, to push away his thoughts.

He nearly fell over when he spotted him.

A boy, appearing to be about the age of twenty, sat on a bench off to the side of the street. He had dark hair that was a mess on the top of his head and brilliant blue eyes that scanned over the pages of the book he was reading. He looked exactly like Alec had when he was twenty.

Little did Magnus know, he would be opening the  _When You Fall in Love Again_ letter sooner than he thought. And this boy would be the reason.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration for this comes partly from a headcanon I saw on Tumblr that said that after he dies, Alec left letters for Magnus to open during different situations. Sorry if there are some inaccuracies, I'm currently reading COFA and still have to get through it and the last two books. Title comes from the song See You Again by Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth. 
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr at jonnorlandfill.
> 
> I do not own the Shadowhunter Chronicles, Shadowhunters, or anything else you may recognize.
> 
> -HJ


End file.
